Here in Canada of course it's 2017. Jill says, "Don't keep reminding me that it's 2012 in England. My body calendar has to get used to where we are now. As soon as we get on the plane I reset my calendar and get to sleep. Then when I wake up in Canada my body..."
"Wait!" I interrupt her. "The skunks are on the yard." We are staying with Marj in London, Ontario. The yard is a patch of rather neglected lawn out back. The skunks live under the house. And they have cornered the black and white cat. "Quick, get the camera," I say.
"No need," Jill replies. "This is 2017, remember? Canada is five years ahead. All we have to do is look at the scene and blink twice. The satellite cameras do the rest."
Later we watch the raccoons. They are all over the car. "They've opened the trunk," I say.
"You should have brought it into the house," Jill replies.
"Well, I did bring the suitcases in, but the trunk was too heavy. I did manage to drag it as far as the sidewalk."
We watch the raccoons arguing over the coats of synthetic black squirrel fur, and the woolly hats - no use to us in this unseasonable Canadian heatwave.
I say " What's that smell?" You say " What?" I say "Is It your fake squirrel or the skunk?"
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